Optimistic Child Development Law -Transform negative thinking and learn to refute

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Control behavior is the basis for cultivating children to form an optimistic attitude. To a certain extent, controlling behaviors can also help children think about causality, so that children will form a self -explanation model from failure and success. This extends the child’s view and explanation of the world.

To a certain extent, the most effective change of thinking in the process of educating children is to cultivate children’s sense of control. By helping children to build ideas and feelings to change the child’s interpretation style, and ultimately enhance children’s confidence.

Many times when others are accusing us, we naturally want to refute and think that our refutation is correct.

However, some habitual pessimistic people do not agree with them that they have habitually explaining bad things that are extremely permanent and universal, and at the same time give them disaster. And identifying negative things will occupy more than half of the development of the whole thing, and this idea has also successfully lost their confidence in hard work.

If you want to change such people, the most important thing to do is to reduce the model of negative ideas as much as possible to enhance the model of their rational ideas, so as to cultivate a model of positive ideas.

1. Use ABCDE therapy to transform negative thinking

ABCDE therapy is a way to transform negative thinking into optimistic thinking in “Living Most Optimistic Self”. Among them, A, (Adversity) represents bad things; B (Belief) represents your ideas on this incident; ENERGIZATION is stimulated.

1. First identify ABC

Identifying the ABC mode is to first identify the relationship between the thoughts and consequences of people’s brains when there is a bad thing.

For example, A Xiao Lan once made up his mind to lose weight. As a result, one day he violated the weight loss plan during the weight loss process, and ate a lot of weight gain food. This is a bad thing.

After C Xiao Lan, he thought he had destroyed the plan of weight loss and thought that he had opened a bad head, and then ate a piece of cake. This is the consequence of the bad thing. B is Xiao Lan’s view of himself. I think that I am a weak person who destroys the entire plan to lose weight, and thinks that I can’t do anything.

And such a model also reflects Xiao Lan as a pessimist.

To identify the ABC model, you need to explore what kind of emotions appeared at the time when you discovered that you had an unpleasant experience, and then what kind of thoughts did you generate. This is the operation of the entire ABC.

2. Execute DE

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

The meaning of refuting is to oppose the thoughts that I used to be and debate with your own ideas. When you refute the debate with your own ideas, you need to refute evidence like a detective to support your positive ideas.

For example, Xiao Lan believes that his weight loss plan has been destroyed, but if he re -calculates the calories he eats, he eats the heat. He will find that his food he gains weight is just more calories than his usual food.

If he can strengthen his exercise within a day, he can quickly consume the food he eats, and can improve his willpower. This will not only achieve the purpose of weight loss, but also achieve the willpower of exercise Purpose.

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

In the process of refuting, it is also the process of collecting information. In the search process, it can exercise reverse thinking, and can also realize the possibility of training themselves.

In addition, stimulation is the result of refuting the spirit and behavior that can bring, stimulate the thinking mode that can be continuously transformed in this process, and brings behavioral changes in behavior. Many times the negative thinking does not necessarily bring bad results. In the process of conducting negative thinking, trying to stimulate another change of possibilities, it can also change the result of the incident to a certain extent.

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

In the process of transforming negative thinking, refutation has an important role. What we need to know is that in the process of refutation, we refute our thoughts, so we need to challenge our own thoughts instead of refuting our refutation of our thinking. Feeling or emotional, so it is easy to fall into a misunderstanding.

2. How to teach children to refute effectively?

In the process of teaching children to refute, first of all, our adults need to connect their ideas and feelings. For example, when we have no negative emotions for no reason, it is easy to feel that these ideas appear out of thin air without connecting these negative ideas and feelings.

Feeling and ideas are very abstract. Many times adults cannot connect it, let alone children? Therefore, if you want children to learn effective refutation, first of all, parents need to master this skill in order to help children better establish their ideas and feelings.

Many times feeling is not something out of nothing, but a kind of mood generated by thought afterwards. If we have negative emotions, most of the reason is because we have some negative ideas.

But this also provides us with a strong basis for changing our feelings -finding negative ideas can change the negative feelings.

1. For young children

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

Many young children, because of their limited language expression and logical thinking ability, are difficult to establish the relationship between ideas and feelings. At this time, parents need to help their children to build a connection between ideas and feelings. As for refutation, when the child can express smooth language, further training can be conducted.

For young children, the most important thing is to help children build emotional cognition. Parents can help children build through painting in this regard.

For example, there will be many expressions related to emotional expression in some picture books. At this time, parents can help children think and judge slowly by asking their children if they have had similar feelings, so as to help children build ideas and feelings between ideas and feelings. relation.

In addition, parents can also accompany their children to play the game of playing with fun charts, teach children to perform cognitive emotions, and identify emotions related to emotions, and then feel the children’s feelings and ideas to guide the relevant emotions to help children build cognition.

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

2. For larger children

At this time, parents can directly conduct relevant behaviors -thought -feelings -refute the training of the opposite mode. During the training process, parents must let their children clearly understand the relationship between various behaviors, ideas, and feelings.

① Search evidence

In the process of refuting, you need to search the content according to the substantial search to change the negative emotions. These are not for some virtues of nothing. Parents need to let the children need to let the children need to let their children be refuted in the process of training their children to refute. Collect evidence that supports refute ideas, thereby effectively refuting.

② Explain from many aspects

When the child finds relevant evidence, we can try to let the child change their minds, and the explanation of other possibilities in various aspects can also exercise the ability of children to think about problems with multiple angles to a certain extent.

③ Carry the correct assessment impact

When looking for more possibilities from multiple perspectives, the impact of these possibilities results is also required to be properly evaluated. At the same time It will happen at the same time, and often the results tend to be between the two.

④ Counterattack on the result

Although the best results and the worst results are very rare, we cannot rule out, and these possibilities have appeared. At this time, we need to remedy these results and effectively control the incident at the same time to better counterattack.

Many times, both adults and children can easily regard bad things as a disaster, but to a certain extent, these things will not really happen. Therefore, in this process, what we need to do most is to help children perform attention. Concentration tends to a more practical situation, so as to carry out better counterattack plans.

Parents should not disturb the facts in order to cultivate children’s optimistic ideas and personality. They should more make children tend to the actual situation and make a solution to think and judge, so as to achieve the purpose of refuting exercises.

3. Help children refute training more quickly

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

Many times to refute whether it can be successful, it can be seen from the decline in negative feelings. Through the continuous training of parents, children can slowly learn to fight their pessimistic emotions.

At the same time, training can solve the problem more quickly and effectively in the face of setbacks. In this process, parents need to accompany their children patiently to conduct common training to achieve the result of eliminating children’s pessimism.

乐观孩子养成法则——转变消极思维,学会反驳

Every parent wants their children to grow up optimistic, but to a certain extent, life is full of various challenges. The child will also produce negative emotions from these challenges. At this time Training children to better defeat negative emotions can allow children to slowly become optimistic from pessimism, so as to better grow.

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